10 Things I Know

1. Luke Wilson/ AT&T can shut the H (sorry to use harsh letters) up. For real.
2. Go Daddy.com/Danica Patrick can shut the H (again, I apologize profusely for using such harsh letters) up OR crash/burn in a gruesome NASCAR accident. Either way.
3. Daniel Tosh is a genius. Seriously. Every time I hear a comment of his, some major lol-age occurs. This item also pertains to number 2 (above). Check out this verbage: "Danica Patrick is hot? Really? She's 4'11" and bowlegged. Sure, maybe she's hot when she's driving and her hair is blowing in the wind AS SHE'S IN LAST PLACE."
4. What's really weird is that I don't mind the Progressive commercials with Flo at all. Seriously. I don't even get up and yell at the TV when it comes on, unlike numbers 1 and 2 (am I the only one?).
5. You might notice a theme right about now, but DirecTV can really shut the hell up. No, TV! I'm happy with my current (and much cheaper) Dish Network service. You unplug my programming to "show me sum'n better" again I'm gonna go all Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom on your butt and rip your freakin' heart out!
6. I know this post took a harsh turn quite quickly, but everything here needed to be said.
7. Mitch Hedberg (may God rest his soul) and Brian Regan got into some of the most undeniably inconvenient conundrums on such a regular basis, I can't help but wonder how they manage(ed) to lead such respectful and positive lives. I mean, I can't count the number of times Brian Regan has had to deal with condescension, 4 wisdom toothed individuals, and general D-bags. Mitch Hedberg, on the other hand, seemed to let on that he took the generalized rejection that comes with being a stand-up comedian more personal than one would think. I recall on his first CD, "Strategic Grill Locations" (an instant classic) that he stated during his routine that, "I just hope that any joke I say if you don't think it's funny, you don't hate me." I had never thought that comedians reverted back to those types of thoughts. What I mean is I thought that was the sort of thing (the innate insecurities) that individuals in the performing arts were able to suppress , but I guess when it all comes down to it, we are only human, bound by human emotions and faults.
8. Having a camera with me a lot of the time makes even the most mundane tasks fun. Best idea I've had in a while. You never realize how much in life you can miss if you don't pay attention. Some of my favorite moments in life have been with friends and family, and if you can't look back on and reminisce about some of the best times in your life, I now feel like you're missing out. Everything can be so awesome and interesting. Especially myself; I'm just exorbitantly interesting.
9. I've been out of work for almost a month now, and everything (not literally) makes sense. I could really work harder than hard towards this goal of not working again. I've never felt so weightless (again, not literally). Regardless of the fact that I'm basically confined to my house the entire time, I've gotten to do lots of things that I love. I know it's not feasible nor responsible, but the thought of not working again fills me with glee (just like everybody else, right?). This doesn't mean that I would stop working and become an essentialist. Don't think that I'm swearing off work forever, and trading in my Air Jordan's for sandals and my HDTV and Xbox 360 for a tent in the woods so I can connect with nature. F that, son. All I'm saying is this time away from something I'm sure a lot of people my age hate has been more refreshing than I could have ever imagined. It's a shame that it'll all be over soon.
10. I miss football season. I really do. These past few weeks, I've only been able to watch basketball. As exciting as John Wall, Sherron Collins, LeBron and D-Wade are, I find myself wishing I could switch over to another generic channel and catch a football game, a skills competition or an analysis of a past game (except the Super Bowl). Anything. And just when my despair seems insurmountable, I read that the NFL Combine (skills day for the top collegiate prospects) is only 8 days away, I realize that all is not lost, and I can survive on basketball alone. At least until MLB starts. Then I might have to give up hope.

Invinca Enterprises - Declaration of Status

So, I'm not exactly sure what to put/post here but trust me I have some funny stuff to say. My whole life is just a gigantic joke. Wait. That sounds sad. I take it back. My whole life is a fun experience and I can't help but share what happens to me with those around me. I love to make people laugh, because things can't be too bad if you can still laugh. Just stick with me and it'll be quite the ride.